Fat Girl Politics

A bunch of you have been asking what all the Twitter fuss was about. Honestly, the argument is a little silly. The gist of the matter is that some people are insulted that they weren't invited to an uber-publicized blogger conference. Some people took it personally enough to get a little nasty about it via Twitter. So some other tweeps got a little nasty back. Pretty entertaining stuff. Or I'm just easily amused. Whatever.

There are some interesting underlying issues though. Consider this--for a community that's supposed to be about acceptance and openness, it is somewhat surprising (well...not really, I guess) to see a conference that is essentially an exclusive event be publicized so heavily. After all, many plus size girls tend to feel left out already--and they think they've found a safe, accepting, and nonjudgmental haven in the fatshion community. Then, they find out they haven't really--there's still hierarchy, drama, judgment & politics. 

The general consensus (of non-attendees) seems to be that the planner(s) shouldn't have publicized the event so heavily if it's a closed, private party. Why get everyone excited about an event that they aren't really invited to? Yes, there's a meet and greet and you'd like your readers to come, but don't you also understand that the people most willing to come to that meet and greet are the ones you've just left out and insulted by essentially deeming them unworthy of being actual participants? And anyway, asking people to come to NY from all over for a 3 hour meet and greet during a weekend-long event is a lot like asking someone out to dinner but shooing them away after they've had the complimentary rolls.

On the other hand, I am also not a fan of the things some people are doing in response--more accurately, the reason why they are doing what they are. A bunch of people have contacted me about hosting or planning a get-together as a "take THAT!" to not being invited to the conference. To be quite clear, this is not everyone. There are some people who do it with thought and good reason (like some of the west coast & UK bloggers--i <3 you guys!), but there are also those who...wait, what's that? Really? You want me to join yours because I wasn't invited to the other one? Please. Not a good enough reason. Many of the emails I received from people didn't say anything about actually wanting to meet me. Nope. It was all about the "Let's meet because apparently we aren't good enough to be invited to the other blogger conference." Oh. Gee, thanks??? While all the ladies I received emails from are amazing people and fabulous bloggers that I would love to meet, I just can't get behind the reason.

Personally, I don't mind that I'm not included in the big conference. If I were going to be in NYC the day of the meet & greet, I'd probably stop by and say hi. I'm not about to go out of my way, but it'd be cool to meet the girls there.

Really, it's just a bunch of women who are fat and who like fashion hanging out together. Do they have to include you simply because you're fat and fashionable? I don't think so. Should they have paraded it around in your face? Probably not, but it's done now. If you want to plan something of your own, by all means, do so! But do it because you're genuinely interested in the people you're meeting, not to make yourself feel better.

Anyway, the girl spent what, 6 months putting this all together? Someone give her a little credit. There's only so much one person can do.

Oh well, this is all just my opinion. What do you guys think? 

Yours, Etc.

P.S. I totally feel like I'm going to get slaughtered for writing this post.! lolol I'm also wondering how many people are going to stop following me for being so controversial in a post. My guess is 10. The bf is betting on more.

P.P.S. Writing these content-heavy posts is tiring. I soooo don't plan on doing it often, lol. Pictures, anyone? haha

Just for fun--the scene from Mean Girls that came to mind during this entertaining little Twitter distraction. hehe:


  1. I have to say I didn't hear about the Twitter fuss, but I agree with you 100%. Especially the part about the dinner and the complimentary rolls (very funny, but point well made). They did publicize it like crazy and I thought because of that they'd have some event or something for the readers like a panel, a fashion show or SOMETHING. But all we get is measly meet and greet when we don't even live in the city...regardless, Gabby did do an excellent job (from what I see) setting it up and your post says exactly what I was thinking about the whole thing. Good job!!


  2. Great post! So glad someone brought out in the open. Just for the record I had been thinking about planning a blogger meet up for a long time now. I think I mentioned it you Allision before your trip to Cali. I had talked about it with only a few bloggers from the Southern California area, you and big beautyful mess mostly. Mostly was for LA/So Cal bloggers to meet up. It wasn't until this issue came up that other people said they wanted to attend a curvy blogger event. So I am in no way doing an event to retaliate or to say "take that"! I am genuinely trying to plan an event where we bloggers can meet up to network and share in the love of plus size fashion! No details yet to share, but it will be open to any curvy/plus size blogger that wants to attend. So if anyone wants to meet & join us in southern California, be on the look out for details to come!
    Thanks for being brave and doing this post!

  3. Oh, I know the conference you're speaking of. It's a first time conference, all the bloggers are under 30 (as far as I can tell), and that's what the fashion world generally cares about. I think it will be a great experience for them, and I do hope they plan to record some Youtube videos or allow people to watch over Skype or something. That may not happen, of course - it is a first time conference.

    I would love it if we could put together a great big "everyone's invited" plus fashion blogger conference. I was asked last year to go to Full Figured Fashion week, but I couldn't afford to, and I'm in a similar situation with BlogHer and SXSW. I'm sure I'm not the only person who's too old for the "cool" demographic who also faces such financial barriers.

    I'm not the least bit upset about it, although I'd love to visit New York again. I just hope that whatever these ladies learn from each other, they're willing to share with the rest of us.

  4. that scene in mean girls makes me laugh so much! hehe

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  6. i say lets start a revolution! WEST COAST raiiiissee uppppp! LOL.

    i really appreciate this post girlfriend (and uuum yeah, ure BF better watch-out) i do agree that west coast and UK bloggers are the freakin bomb ... but i got love for everyone and seriously ... i just like clothes. LOL.

    i didnt even know that the conference was "exclusive" and i ditto wat u said about the rolls ... lol ... that is kinda mean.

    the blog world is BIG ... i say venture out ... minus the exclusion.

    i ♥ u girl!

  7. first of all, i love the new header.

    second, i agree with you entirely.
    i don't think any less of anyone involved, but you've made incredibly valid points across the board.


  8. I'm responding to your post not because I feel the need to defend myself or the YFF Conference, but because I feel that not everyone knows what's going on with this whole situation.

    I heard about the Twitter fiasco through someone else (I don't have a Twitter account) and I didn't really understand what the whole hulla-baloo was about. Yes, Gabi only invited 10 girls, but that's because it was very difficult to find sponsors and the budget is VERY tight. In fact, not everything is being paid for by the sponsors. As far as who was invited; she has been planning it actually longer than six months and back when she first started the proceedings, only a handful of girls had blogs that were content-heavy in terms of OOTDs (which is something she really wanted). The majority of the girls (sans J from Fatshionable) have been around the blogging community for over a year. What was Gabi supposed to do when all of a sudden everyone and their mom has plus-size blog? Invite everyone who starts one? Obviously, no - which is why she organized the meet and greet. Yes, it might a be a slap in the face, but we all really wanted to meet our readers (that's actually the part I'm most looking forward to!!!). I think everyone needs to see this as an opportunity to create buzz and hopefully gain more awareness so that there can be another even larger one next year where more girls can be invited.

    Instead of slamming Gabi, we should be singing her praises. Who else has tried to contact sponsors and organize an event like this beforehand? NO ONE! So now everyone wants to be vengeful and have a "take that" attitude? It's all petty, really.

    And as for a So Cal/LA meet-up? I'm all for it. I'd so be down to go. In fact, I tried to go to the clothes swap put on by Stay Classy, LA (I bet lots of people didn't even know about that one, right?) but had to work, so trying to organize a meet-up in LA wouldn't be all that new, ya know?

    But go on with your bad-self writing this post; it's your blog and expressing your opinion won't make me stop reading because I genuinely like it regardless of your view.

  9. Well thank you to Coroazones Rojos for clearing up some info, because no one else had any info when I asked. It's not about hating on any one, its just when you make such a big deal and get people excited and then say oh wait but you can't really be part of it, you can see how people would be upset and get angry. I think it was just kinda bad PR. Regardless I wish everyone going to YFF Conference best of luck & hope they have a great time in NYC, will be looking forward to post about the event. As far as a SO CAL/LA meet no one really knows who has or has not tried to organize it, or who has been contacted. It maybe nothing new, but it will be fun and everyone will be invited! I am sure there would be people who can & would pay to go to NYC to be part of the YFF conference but they weren't even give then chance. Like Allison said as big girls we already have been left out of fashion in general, why are we trying to be divided amongst ourselves. It's all about the curvy love I say! I <3 my curvy sistas! Peace!

  10. oh Allison hunny you read my mind! i wasn't very involved/caught up in the "situation" about the YFF NY blogger conference... BUT i had an experience with another blogger that really left a bad taste in my mouth... and mostly about how even though this is supposed to be an open and accepting ground for anyone and everyone... regardless of WHEN they started blogging or HOW MANY followers/fans they have... there is still the hierarchy! i felt like this blogger was imposing some sort of unspoken rule on me about how fat fashion bloggers who have been around for however long and have a super deep/strong following should be treated as though they are the ambassadors/royalty of this thing that we're all trying to accomplish. it bugged the shit out of me... and to be quite honest i was really considering taking a break from blogging because of it :( i just hated that the one community where i feel like regardless of who you are or how much clout you have with other fatshionistas you could be respected and maybe even admired... you actually couldnt be... as if us new bloggers are just scrubs and have to make our way to the top through the a-typical popularity contest... blah... i was gonna post a post like this (my comment) but it woulda been my 100th and that would just be such negative energy to make that my 100th post... anyways... im rambling... i love ya for this post! and as far as the actual situation goes with the blogger conferences, i totally agree with EVERYTHING u said! i want to be part of a west coast conference for no other reason that to be able to personally meet as many of these amazing ladies as possible... i told u it just feels like high school and a popularity contest again :( the popular fat girls run everything ::sigh::

    <3 Iza

  11. I agree with both points made here:
    I am disappointed about how publicised this event is considering it's only for 10 people. That seems really annoying and quite hurtful to many other bloggers to have it thrusted in their faces like that and find out it's not even for them. For one, I am disappointed about finding out that the conference is not open to other fatshion bloggers, but I'm not going to make a huge deal about it.

    Secondly, people hitting out is rediculous. Yes you can be mad and a bit frustrated but there's no point in trying to "get back at" the conference attendees.

    The UK meet was - and is - , as you said, not a retaliation but more of a "Damn, we can't get that far because of money/jobs/not being invited, so let's hold our own." No malice there, just something for the UK fats to enjoy, after getting the idea from the US conference.

  12. Hmmm... This is very interesting. I have been in alot of different "types" of groups in my lifetime from jobs, to churches, to classrooms- and what I realize is that no matter where you go there is always some form of popularity/hierarchy contests involved... sad? Yes but its just the way people work.

    It really does not matter what type of blog you have rather its plus-size or straight size- the point is the there are 1000s of fashion blogs out there and the fact that there are more plus size girls out there are feeling more comfortable with their bodies and expressing their fashion sense is something that should be celebrated. Big ups to the ladies who had a vision to see this "blogging niche" and be forerunners in a so called "movement". But its just that... a niche.

    More importantly I think that plus size women really need to stop excluding themselves from the fashion community as a whole and showcase their STYLE more then their SIZE. That will be the day that stores will carry size 0-26 or beyond in every style of clothing they carry without the distinction of "Plus".

    One more thing that I feel is important for the ladies that felt discourage or left out. Please remember why you started blogging in the first place. I know for me its fun to share my life and see other people who share the same interest(obsession LOL) as I do. I have found myself becoming more confident and pushing outside of my box in terms of fashion (something that I always wanted to do). And thinking outside of this community- we are helping millions of women to feel better about themselves and discover the places that they can express their unique fashion sense without restriction. Each blogger has their own style and vision so keep pushing yourself to be innovative and find your own unique "niche"- because EVERYONE has something to offer.

  13. I'm in two minds about this because I'm not necessarily a 'famous' fatshion blogger or anything, thus can understand why only certain people were invited. I also didn't know anything about the Twitter stuff. Yet I completely agree with you that I felt a bit sort of - left out - and disappointed on other people's behalf because though I am from the UK and can't afford to get to New York anyway, it seems a bit exclusive.

    It really should not have been advertised on all these high profile blogs in such a way as if anyone could come along, despite the meet and greet. It would have been kinder and less disappointing to people if they had just sort of said 'by the way, there is a meet and greet for readers and fatshion bloggers in New York, if anyone wants to come' instead of saying 'Wow, 10 fashion bloggers are going to be meeting up. By the way, there is a meet and greet for other people and readers'. It could have been more sensitive, that's all.

    Like you say, there are other fatshion bloggers that I read and I am sure they would have been excited about it, then felt very let down not being invited.

  14. Well said lady!
    Props to Gabi for putting it together while a little more tact when it came to publicizing would have been better. Oh well I hope they have fun and it should make for some great posts!

  15. hey, i totally appreciate hearing your viewpoint and thank you for sharing it! i'm truly sorry for anyone who feels left out, but gabby (corazones rojos) explained things pretty well. in terms of publicizing the event, there was no way to do it as a "by the way" thing, when we have sponsors who are also depending on us, considering they are helping us out with the event. there is a lot more i want to say but im in a rush, just wanted to comment quickly.


  16. Wellll.....

    I feel as if I have been under a rock, or have had blinders on as I had no idea about the Twitter madness...

    This actually saddens me, as it is bad enough that we are fighting for our right to be fashionable, and yet we find ourselves, within the plus size community acting like crabs in a barrel...

    I can understand the frustrations shared but to publicly air your frustrations out because you were not chosen does nothing for you- nor aspiring bloggers, or the plus size fashion community. If anything, it sets us back like five years.

    This makes me sooo sad... the fatosphere is huge!!! You make your own mark, support those doing their thing, and keep it curvy!

    Marie Denee

  17. @Marie:

    At no point in this post did I "air out my frustrations" about not being "chosen". In fact, I clearly mentioned within the post that it didn't bother me that I wasn't going. I also mentioned that the Twitter fiasco was silly. If I did voice frustration, it was over the people retaliating with poor intentions. If that came across as airing out frustration over being not being invited, I'd like to set the record straight.

    The point of this post was to give people a place to voice their opinions--all opinions and "sides" included, which they did. I don't think that by giving people a forum to discuss I've set the plus size fashion community back 5 years.

    @everyone: Thanks for the comments! :) I enjoyed reading your thoughts!

  18. I think your post was really well-written! Noone should stop reading or following you because you've expressed your opinion. That's the whole point of a blog. Being able to share your toughts and people reacting and engaging in discussions.

    I've known about the conference for a while now as I received the "invite" email. In Gabby's defense there were a lot of bloggers who received it. Probably 20+? I don't remember. I couldn't commit that far in advance since it'd have been a big trip for me (I am from Belgium) so I don't know how everything was arranged afterwards. I think at this point it's just a problem of communication. People got confused and I can understand why they feel left out. A few girls emailed me about it and I had to tell them that they could only participate in the meet & greet. For us in Europe it's a big trip if it's "just" to meet other bloggers. I think it's great that meetings are being organized all over The USA / UK. You don't need to be sponsored by companies to meet cool people, go shopping and have a great time. :)

  19. P.S.: your header is absolutely fantastic!

  20. Oh no darlin! I wasn't sad about you!!!!! The whole debacle saddens me...

    I applaud YOU for talking about it. You took my post personally, I was referencing the fact people are upset to the degree of having it out on Twitter, doing the "I am going to have an event" thing like you specified...

    To be clear, I enjoyed reading your post, as you took the high road about it, the way people are but hurt about it all and airing it for everyone to see- that saddens me.

    I can understand being slighted, put off, alienated, or hurt, honestly I can see one's point, but to knock people for trying to be progressive with fashion- that is what makes me sad...

    Get it girl, and I will ALWAYS have love for you! :)

    And yes, I LOVE the HEADER!!!

  21. Hi Gabi - I just want to say I understand and I think it's brilliant that you've organised something like this, with sponsors etc. I think there has been a lot of fuss made about it, too much really, but at the same time, like most of the commenters have said, I can understand why some people are so disappointed.

    I guess the disappointing part must have been all the hype and then finding out that it was just for 10 people? I'm not sure, because it doesn't matter all that much to me - it would be great to meet people but at the same time, not very cost effective! :)

    If people really want to do something, there's nothing stopping them from meeting other fatshion bloggers some other time, maybe in their own countries or somewhere nearer and less expensive :) I definitely understand that sponsors can only put up the money for so many people.

  22. *Btw that comment above is fallingstar1284 again, sorry!

  23. @Marie

    hehe...I feel dumb. sorry! lol? *embarassed face*

    Thanks so much to everyone for their points of view!! <33

  24. Okay... I am feeling dumb because I wasn't clear on what I wanted to. I wanted to create a NETWORK... in order to get us out there... I think right now there are a few bloggers who are highly publicized and other who are not. I think that what I wanted was not a conference but a way to get more of US out there. I realized from all the drama we were the "other" bloggers. By that I mean we are NOT as famous... and there is no reason for that to be. People like yourself, BBM, and Cid should be more fashion in my opinion. And if there was a way to network or create a community to really put us out there it would really open the acceptance of plus size bloggers. Especially since I know I get alot of flack for loving my size the way I do.

  25. I think Gabi is doing an amazing job... and when I started to think about a blog - it was her plus-size blog that made me think - THAT's what I can write about too. It was Gabi's blog that made me start looking about and reading and think - I want to be a part of this.

    That's an amazing thing.

    I also have to say I understand why this event was publicized the way it was:
    - It is exciting for the people involved
    - Multiple bloggers from across the world (Europe, America, Australia...) will attend
    - There are sponsors
    - The girls don't work in PR...

    That last one is possibly what it comes down to... Gabi has organised an event she wants to share with her readers and fellow bloggers and probably just did what she thought was an exciting and great way to advertise it. She wasn't being insensitive or hurtful.

    I have worked on award winning campaigns in advertising - I think people sometimes underestimate how hard it is to get things "just right" or to make sure everyone is satisfied... especially when advertising and PR is not something you do for a living.

    The fact is though, that there is a blogger conference in July. Eleven women from all over the world will attend - LOTS of people are represented by the eleven who are going. This is so exciting. Until two weeks ago, no one even heard of a "Fat Fashion Bloggers" conference. And these girls, these bloggers - they are going to take truck-loads of photographs, and write a whole bunch of blog posts that people will read and share and then go on to further debate and discuss. That's what these girls do.

    I like the debate etc. and I think that Allison, you are really fabulous and a bit brave for starting a positive, open forum to have this discussion - like yourself, I stumbled into the Twitter discussion and watched a lot unfold.

    Ultimately though, this YFF conference will only be positive. I think that is just so exciting.

  26. First, Allison, I'm a fan of you're writing hehe but you already know this.

    I think you expressed this situation with tact. I unfortunately didn't witness the twitter mess. *sigh* I didn't feel slightly in the least bit when I read of the conference. Did I question myself and think, "why didn't they choose me?" Gosh no! Did it leave a taste of jealousy in my mouth? Hmm, slightly maybe, but I've been meeting up with bloggers since I moved to Chicago. We shop, dine and enjoy each others company.

    True, the original PR may have been a bit confusing and some of us (meaning fatshion bloggers) may have felt left out, I think it's a great start for something that could be of an annual success.

    I do think it sucks that even in blogging we still feel like we're in high school and we're on the look out for so-called "mean girls". Next time, if anyone has any concern, I hope they voice it as gracefully and with as much tact as Allison has. We all are different and have varying view points, there's no need to pull hair to get a point across.